How Much Do You Care?

April 9th, 2013 Laura Caluian

Last week, my friends from Europe Direct Centre Braila and I took part in an extensive awareness campaign for children and teens, on environmental protection. “It is a very popular topic,” you may say, “everybody is talking about it, television, teachers, even parents sometimes … Tell us something new, exciting, to draw our attention!”

Yes, you may be right … maybe it is a boring, old and unattractive topic. We study Ecology at school, and that’s enough, isn’t it? We know how to collect waste selectively, plant a tree, build birds houses and we strongly believe that this is all we can do to save nature. But is it true?

 3 minutes for 1000 words

People have been living on this planet for hundreds of thousands years and they think that all the plants, animals, rocks, rivers are nothing else but their slaves. Unfortunately, the simplest lesson that people have not learned yet is that a ruler who kills his dependents can no longer be leader … A king can be defined but only in direct relationship with his subjects that need to be protected and supported to live a better life.

How well did people do that? I invite you to watch a movie that does not last too much, more than 3 minutes. But we believe that these 3 minutes will change your  way of thinking and you will learn that by simple gestures, without any physical or financial effort, we can contribute to improving the lives of these beautiful creatures around us. They are not guilty for living together with us and yet they pay the toll for our mistakes, for our daily irresponsible actions.

 http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=M3KI_HyzJqc

 What was the result of the campaign? We’ll see that in a year or two or ten … All I can say is that our children lost their joy from the beginning of our meeting and grew more silent, sad, feeling a little bit guilty. How much does a plastic bottle cap matter when it’s not tossed in the bin, but on the street, in a lake or elsewhere?  It may cost a life …. life of a bird, an animal and even our life few years later.

europe directWe are so lucky to live on such a beautiful planet!! It gives us amazing pictures, wonderful sunsets and sunrises, plains, rivers and mountains covered with snow… It gives us the seasons, rainbows and the aurora borealis … No wonder many people call it Mother Earth. Unfortunately, we are going to kill Her slowly with our selfish desire to live as comfortably as possible … We’ve grown apart from Her and even from ourselves. Focused on our mobile phones screens, tablets or laptops, we’ve forgot to raise our eyes and see the beauty around us. We think that technology saves us the future, but we forget that it is just a part of it, but not the future itself. Our future must regain its stability on this wonderful planet that carries us on this endless journey around the sun, without asking anything in return but love, care and protection.

 How much do you care about tomorrow? How much do you care about that butterfly resting on a flower, those dolphins in the blue sea or the starving bears at the North Pole?

Can you feel the pain of their extinction?

Let’s join forces, intelligence and love to save the only place where we can be ourselves, to save our HOME.

 Tell us what are your favorite activities you to protect nature? Have you saved even a single creature today? Have you spared its life? We need your story!

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Me & My Room

March 18th, 2013 Laura Caluian

Teenage years are the time when we claim our independence from parents and we render it every time we set the limits of own territory, called “my room”. It is that place where we feel the best, like to have dinner or lunch, read or listen to music, get friends who come to visit us and, above all, we completely forbid adults to enter. Our room is the same with ourselves, a part of our life and person … It gradually loses its original purpose, that of being just a space for living, but gains personality, like humans.

Owing a space that entirely belongs to us, we imagine that we can do anything there without thinking that our actions can have a serious impact on our own health or the whole family. Hence, the question arises: how “private” is our space supposed to be? How can we use as well so it can help us get the best results in our activity and what’s the time when our room turns into an enemy that threatens our physical and emotional health?

 Food under the bed, socks tossed all around the floor

lazy manMost times, when parents ask us to clean up our room, we protest. “That’s my room  and do what I want and I clean it when I want!” we say it in loud voice, asking to be left alone so we can finish the book or video game that is becoming more and more exciting. “I’ll clean up tomorrow”, we promise every time, forgetting that “tomorrow” is actually an unrealistic term that we like to use and lie to ourselves because it is hard to get out of our comfort zone. And thus, gradually, our room is covered by dirty socks, food that we forget under the bed and starts stinking, books, car keys, dvd’s, pencils, shirts, sports shoes, makeup, huge bags, pillows, roller skates, pet hair, etc., all gathered in a room with no fresh air, full of dust, sweat and perfume. Sounds familiar? Unfortunately, most of the teenagers’ rooms look like this and despite the parents’ insistence, young people seem to love this environment they don’t want to change by any means. It’s like changing the room’s layout would trigger a profound change of their own persons who become unrecognizable.

 Comfort & Health

Young people should know that parents’ insistence to clean their room derive from their concern for their children’s health. Few teens are aware of how many germs hide in a hamburger they forget on the table for two days or under the bed when the floor is not dusted and washed yet. Cleanliness, often considered a chore, is nothing but a responsible act done for our health, an unbeatable weapon against asthma, allergies and skin diseases. A room where windows are not widely opened every single day represents contamination source and a room where they hide things prohibited drugs, needles, medication, false friends turns into a ghetto affecting youths’ safety and tranquility.

Also, things tossed all around prevent us from hard study and ability to focus. Very few of us know that peripheral vision influences the brain activity more than we expect. Thus our productivity drops dramatically when the desk is covered with all kind of items chaotically spread everywhere. Even if we pretend to feel good and be able to focus on our homework or projects, the crowding around gives us a sense of suffocation, lack of fresh air and “too much”, all this preventing our brain from working at its best. The same happens when it comes to a dirty and stuffy room: our body unconsciously reacts against this unhealthy environment and we feel tired, and irritable for no apparent reason.

 10 minutes daily for our health

No matter how childish it sounds, 10 minutes that we spend daily to clean our room is a big win for our health. It doesn’t matter how healthy I eat, how much we exercise, all this becomes useless if we come back every night in the samevaccum the floor dusty and dirty room to sleep or spend a few hours.

Cleaning the room can become a pleasant routine if we do it while listening to our favorite music or singing the songs we like. It doesn’t take us too much to do that, it can be done together with our parents or friends, siblings or by ourselves and has spectacular results. The steps are simple and not at all boring:

-  Open the windows widely (yes, even if it’s winter, our room needs to “breathe” in order to create a pleasant environment).

-  Vacuum, dust, shake well the sheets and wash the floor.

- Get rid of things we no longer need, which occupy our personal space and take time to be cleaned. Psychologists say that it is good, once in a while, to get rid of clothes, toys, books, objects we haven’t used in the last year to make room for the new to come into our lives. As long as we remain stuck in the old environment, we will never be able to go further to something new and better. Things that we no more like and use can be donated to other persons who will enjoy their possession because they really need them.

-  Rearrange the room so that it becomes beautiful and functional. Sometimes changing the spot of a pot of flowers can make us feel good. Only in this way, our room can help us maintain a good health and our vitality while our deep concern for our health reveals full maturity and self-respect.

 As you can see, this personal relationship with our room is supposed to be a successful and friendly one. Our personal place means more than four walls and a bed, but the environment where we have to live a healthy and happy life.

 How clean do you keep your room and how do you benefit it?

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How Can We Deal With Violence?

February 22nd, 2013 Laura Caluian

violent teenLately, media have shown horrifying stories about teens who become so violent, that they have no reluctance to kill their fellows. Guns, daggers, heavy hits, everything looks like a movie scenario, but, unfortunately, it seems to become the less pleasant reality of teens’ life. Despite awareness campaigns, the efforts of police and stakeholders, counselors and psychologists, our youths choose violence more easily, as a way of expressing their desires and frustrations. The reasons are childish, stupid almost all the time: jealousy, supremacy within the group, groups fighting for neighborhoods control, mere competition at school, assertion, etc. The most vulnerable “parts” in this sad story are those children, perceived as “different”: shy or isolated, weighing more or less than others, belonging to a different religion or ethnicity, poorer, or physically disabled.

Besides physical violence, verbal violence is rendered in many ways. We know that girls are more interested “annihilating” their rivals for the title of “Miss Popularity”, appealing to a form of extreme verbal abuse. Gossips on the school’s corridors or on social networks (cyberbullying), offensive sms, insults, all “weapons” are used when it comes to “war”. On the other hand, girls are more often victims of sexual harassment, which can become very stressful, leading to anxiety and fear of going to school.

 Why did we get here?

Most times, every violent teen hides a drama behind their “tough guy” mask. Many young people accept to become parts of different gangs due to lack of money and any decent options to get it (such as a job), others need to belong to a group to give them that protection and affection they haven’t found at home. Young people coming from families with issues, where they can’t communicate or feel neglected, release their frustrations through violent actions against those weaker than them. Teens witnessing domestic violence are equally vulnerable as they see their parents fighting and even hitting each other.

The absence of parents to guide them in life and be their models is another cause of juvenile delinquency. Divorced parents, facing daily problems related to the family economic situation are more vulnerable to the hostility of their own children, who prefer the company of people who inspire strength and authority, even if these persons are criminals.

Girls also present a form of aggressiveness against the feeblest and helpless ofangry teens them, thus trying to mask their own weakness. Psychological studies have shown that flaws we hate at others are, in fact, a reflection of our own flaws. Therefore, the girls assaulting their slimmer or fatter friends actually exhibit their permanent concern for the way they look like, their obsessive fear of getting out of the “standards” imposed by magazine covers, as well as their fear of being abandoned by their boyfriends.

Violence against persons of another race, sexual orientation, religion is the result of lack of education, ignorance which are still present in the 21st century, unfortunately.

 The risk of violent behavior is higher for young people who are alcohol and drugs consumers, come from low-income families and have poor results in school or have completely dropped out their studies, according to studies made by U.S. authorities. The lack of a positive perspective in their lives makes many teens seek their own justice and solutions to their problems, get money and power more easily and quickly using the law of violence instead of getting a job.

A great danger is violence against oneself through suicide attempts and self-cutting. Injury, pain, helps teens in this case to find their inner peace and release their discontent, fears and worries.

 What are we supposed to do?

 First of all, you as teens need to know that this beautiful age means not only advantages, but great responsibility for yourself, family and society as well. When you were kids, you used to be careless, your parents were those who would protect and guide … but now this independence that you’ve been searching for so long, requires your attention and maturity. Staying away from conflicts, be it physical or verbal, is a proof of wisdom and growth. There is no cowardice at all, but of power of self-control and self-esteem. Sooner or later, your abusers will get bored of teasing you, seeing that their mean actions don’t have the expected results. Strong people are far above their aggressors, dominating them though self-control and sense of worth. An old proverb says: “If you chose the bran, you’ll end up being eaten by pigs”, so show the world your value, make them respect you by presenting them the way you respect yourself.

happy teensCooperation with the adults in your life is another solution. Even if you want to deal with your problems by yourselves, most times, the best solution is to trust adults and seek their help. We say this because we know that there have been many cases when such serious conflicts ended up with physical aggression leading to one of the teens’ injury. Instead, parents, teachers, along with the police can find better solutions to end the conflict.

Also, if you feel sad for no reason, depressed, if you experience insomnia, do not hesitate to talk to your parents and psychologist, because the signs of depression can easily be corrected through adequate therapy and help from your family. DO NOT throw your sadness and anger against yourself, don’t hurt yourself, and don’t needlessly torture your body and soul, as every problem has a solution for sure.

Also, if you are constantly aggressed, you must avoid staying alone, it is preferable for you to seek the company of a friend or the group to which you belong. You also have to ignore the person aggressing you and go away from them immediately. Aggressors like to watch their victims’ reactions, and as long as they don’t get them, they’ll eventually get bored of aggressing you and drop it.

Not ultimately, the best way to keep you away from the trouble is to get involved in other social or school activities that will protect you from your assailants. Be it school, family, church or artistic or sporting clubs, you will definitely find people to be there for you and offer you understanding, help and protection, while you have the opportunity to nurture your talents, skills and make yourself known to others for your beauty and value and not for anger and violence.

Remember, violence is never a solution to solve your problems with others and even yourselves. The old “an eye for an eye” law is no longer valid, because mankind has realized that it can move forward only through cooperation, love and understanding. We all need to keep the world beautiful, just the way it is and leave it even better … it is a duty, an honor, an almost sacred task we have to accomplish for the future generations.

Have you ever dealt with violence? Tell us how you did, what were the solutions you found and what advice you have for other teens.

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Procrastination? Not At All!

February 19th, 2013 Laura Caluian

 “I’m so happy that my life has no meaning…I can give it one!” (Constantin Noica)

 Today I want us to do an exercise of honesty. Let’s look into each other’s eyes and see all those dreams, aspirations we have, but we constantly put off. Somewhere, in an uncertain future, we place our desires that turn into some broken toys tossed somewhere in a box, in the attic. We think of them with great joy and excitement, but do nothing to make them real. “Some day, I could learn a new sport,” “On Monday, I’m going to start working on my first novel,” “Soon, I’ll start eating healthier”, “My current relationship does not make me happy … I’ll finish it as soon as I can “,” I should begin to study for the exam “. Unfortunately, we find ourselves that we let every day pass by without making these dreams concrete, without even trying to turn them into reality.

 What is procrastination?

It is much easier for us to make excuses than striving to take the first step on our path. What is procrastination? Well, procrastination is when:

-  we plan to do tomorrow what we didn’t do yesterday or the day after tomorrow what we won’t do tomorrow;

-  we chronically put off things and find excuses for not doing what we have planned – “I have no time”, “I have no comfortable space”, “I haven’t got the phone call I was waiting for”, “I have no money”;

-  we head to our desk for work, but we find ourselves in the kitchen for a snack;

- we start our work session with a “short” relaxation break. Often we use to say, “There is very little work to do so I can relax a little now and finish my work later … I have enough time to do it”

-  we set deadlines that are uncertain or very easy to be put off ” from tomorrow on”, “from Monday on ” or “next month”, “soon”, “as soon as I can”;

-   we wait for perfect conditions to help us get the work started. I’m sure many of us have said at least once in a lifetime “I’m not good enough to do this”, “Other people are more fortunate / much better / more prepared than me”;

-   we choose a momentary pleasure and put off something that “should” be done. “I’d better take a nap before starting to study / I’ll have three more chocolate muffins today and I promise that I’ll start my diet tomorrow”

-   we waste our time waiting for “that” moment of inspiration, instead of rolling up our sleeves and starting working.

 Why do we chose procrastination?

 Almost 95% of people in the world have this bad habit. Very few succeed to focus on what they do, to organize their time more efficiently so that they can get the results they are pursuing and grow. Although everyone has dreams, very few people choose to turn them into reality. You read it well “they choose” because nobody can do that but themselves. And yet, it is very hard for all of us to leave the comfort zone behind and start our own journey. In order to do that, we must identify that thing which holds us back from making our dreams come true. It is the task or us?

 The reason we claim most often refers to the unpleasant parts of a task. Most times, the best way to deal with them is DOING them as soon as possible, so you can then focus on the more pleasant aspects.

Bad time management can be another reason for procrastination. Organized people have their lists of priorities to be carried out. A good time management often prevents procrastination from appearing in our lives, as dividing a task into smaller steps eliminates the anxiety related to the amount and duration of the task.

 sad young manFor some, success itself becomes a reason for fear, because if they complete a task assigned to them, they may have it assigned again later on, or might get even greater responsibilities. Many people are afraid of success because of the change it brings in their lives and for which they’re not ready yet. Therefore, that may be the reason for which many of those who earn large amounts at lottery fail to keep the money for a longer time, because they are not emotionally ready for such a success. I’m sure you also know many famous singers, players, actors who started using drugs, drinking, wasting their lives and talent, overwhelmed by the “burden” of their success.

Perfectionists are sometimes the victims of procrastination, because of their way of thinking: ” I cannot do this perfectly now, so I won’t do it at all.”

Lack of experience in making decisions can be another reason of procrastination. When you cannot decide on the ways in which you are supposed to perform a task, there is the risk for you to delay it fearing that you may chose a wrong option.

How can we overcome procrastination?

 1. A better time management. Maybe some of you know Mircea Eliade, the great historian of religions, born in Romania, brilliant professor at the University of Chicago. As a high school student, he used to have extremely poor results especially in Biology and French. Although he was a brilliant young man, he would fail to meet the standards required by teachers. When he had to repeat the exam in Biology, he used an effective strategy. Every morning, would wake up 2 minutes earlier than the previous day. Thus, within a week, he managed to wake up 15 minutes earlier and study more, managing to pass that exam eventually.

 2. Draw up a list of activities, setting a deadline for each of them, prioritize them and get started! Focus on difficult exams, urgent projects and those tasks you can carry out later. It is important for you to maintain a steady rhythm of work, without taking long and frequent breaks that can disturb you.

 3. Split larger tasks into smaller steps that accomplish them within a deadline. Thus, you will not be discouraged because of things you have to do and you can also organize your work more efficiently.

 4. Create a comfortable work environment to represent you. A familiar environment, surrounded by positive energy, stimulates your creativity and increases efficiency. Make sure the light to be as natural as possible, your desk to be away from sources of irradiation (TV, computer, home appliances), there are flowers in your room to purify the air and provide as much oxygen as possible. Also, be sure to let the windows wide open every morning and evening, even during winter time.

 5. Give up on activities that you used to carry out and break your work moment. If you cannot remove them from your schedule, draw up a set of rules for these activities and meet them the best you can.

 6. Set goals and do not neglected them. Strive to work on them every single day, even when you feel you are not in the mood for that. Remember that you have to keep a constant work rate as even the smallest achievement in a day is more important than a day with no achievements at all.

 7.  Reward yourself for every success you have (an evening at the mall e.g.)party time and focus on your next success.

8. Change your perception when it comes to failures and try to see in them just another way to your personal evolution and learning. Thus, you will overcome your fear of failure and focus on doing things rather than avoiding or delaying them.

 The most important lesson we must learn is that the line between success and failure is very thin and the difference can be done by a single inch acquired in ACTION, not waiting. So do not be afraid to take action, to be wrong sometimes, to grow, TO NOT ABANDON and build the life you want!

Tell us about your personal ways to overcome procrastination!

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The Blue Eyes of Philosophy

February 12th, 2013 Laura Caluian

I recall the first days of my 12th grade. I knew I was going to study Philosophy that year, and I was very excited about that. I loved reading, just like any other teenager.. at that time, I used to passionately read the great classics of literature, I loved Russian and French writers, I had read some Plato and Aristotle, too, that’s why the new Philosophy course was supposed to be a new gateway to the mankind’s knowledge.

I remember perfectly the moment when the new Philosophy teacher entered the classroom… tall, blonde, blue eyes … she seemed the right person to be my guide in this extraordinary adventure which promised to be extremely exciting. To me and my 18 years old colleagues, eager to exchange ideas and concepts, the Philosophy handbook seemed the answer to all our questions and the teacher, our mentor.

Unfortunately, none of us suspected that soon, the person supposed to open our minds and hearts to the values ​​of humanity, became a very unpleasant person, malicious and nasty. The Philosophy classes gradually lost the glamour we had expected, became rigid, lacking meaning and value. Our teacher, blonde and glacial, used to stare at us with her blue sphinx-like eyes and say in a sharp voice: “What big marks you have got… Let’s see how we can lower them.” At that moment, she would turn into a witch in front of our eyes, and we started to hate Plato and Aristotle, finding them guilty and responsible for our low marks and unhappiness.

For a while, I was so terrified of the Philosophy course that I would feel likestudents throwing up before each class. And so would my colleagues… we no longer wanted to access the wisdom of the world, we just wanted to be left alone, but not hunted like some scared rabbits. No matter how well we would learn the lessons, no matter how much we would like the text we had to talk about, we were never entirely happy or relaxed near this teacher and her hypnotic eyes.

 How did I manage to keep my high marks?

At first, I would learn because of fear … a paralyzing fear that I used to feel like a hard rock deep in my stomach. But, regardless how hard I was working, I could not keep my cold blood whenever the Philosophy course started. I would become so anxious and scared, that I was almost suffocating in my own emotions.

“Enough,” I said to myself one day. “I have to do something about it.” And I started a step-by-step program to regain my emotional freedom in front of this woman. And, imperceptibly, day after day, I managed not only to keep my high grades, but I began to love Philosophy again. My colleagues were totally unable to understand how I succeeded to turn from that old Laura, frightened and disgusted by Plato, into a new student, more self-confident and smiling, despite the weekly “terror”. How did I do that?

 a) I studied a lot – in order to cope with my teacher’s blue eyes, I began to study Philosophy the best way I could. Weekly, I used to borrow books from the local library to learn as many things as possible. Thus, I not only managed to prepare my homework and projects very well, but I also started to discover such interesting things, that I would stay up late at night to read them. Yes, I could say that it was a happy time for me and my teacher’s severity proved to be beneficial at the end of the day. Reading more than my peers, I was ready for any debate and question that our teacher would have asked.

b) I overcame my fear – I have recently heard a famous line uttered by Will Smith in one of his recent movies (After Earth – 2013): “Fear is a choice.” Now, after so many years since I graduated high school, I realize that back in time, during my Philosophy classes, I was the one who chose to fear. It wasn’t the teacher who scared us, but ourselves. Any teacher is a mere human, with good and bad days… but that does not mean that we should be affected, frightened by them. The same with me and my colleagues: we chose to be afraid of her hypnotic eyes and her strange teaching methods. Once I conquered my fear and started to get more involved in her projects, I realized that she was looking at me differently now. I no longer was that short teenager, bullied in her presence, but a distinct voice with personality in the class, no longer trembling whenever she was promising us lower grades destined to compromise our overall score.

happy studentc)  I cultivated my self-confidence – knowing that my knowledge of philosophy consisted in more than a bunch of short texts in my handbook, seeing that I was able to provide beautiful and elaborate answers that drew the admiration of my colleagues and even my teacher, I felt my self-confidence was growing, leading to a total change in terms of my relationship with my teacher. Gradually, I began to ignore her loud voice and pay attention to my tasks exclusively. I started to get involved in group and individual projects more, to prepare myself for competitions and stop shaking whenever I had to speak to my teacher. There is something you should know: self-confidence does not mean boldness, defiance … but relaxation and awareness of your own personal value.

d) I turned my nasty teacher into a friend – No, we didn’t go out for coffee, as you may think. Simply, through an exercise of imagination, I used to say to myself that my teacher was just a helpless girl having a bad day. I tried to think of her like one of ours, but not a person who can decide our future. Calm and totally unmoved by her harsh voice, I started to work with her as though I had been working with an older peer. Showing her the due respect, I managed to turn my student-teacher relationship into one of collaboration.

 What was the result of these small strategies? The school year ended in a happy note, my grades remained high, and Philosophy is still my favorite field. I may have forgotten many of the concepts and names that I used to talk about in that time, but the most important lesson was to discover my own values ​​and overcome the fear of something imaginary. Eventually, I realized that it wasn’t the teacher who made me get in trouble, but my own inability to adapt myself to her personal style of teaching (totally different from the other teachers whom I was already used to). Many years before discovering Jim Clemmer, a brilliant author of books on leadership, I had realized that adapting to new environment is the key of our success. “If we don’t choose the change, we’ll end up being changed!” (Jim Clemmer)

Tell us about the worst teacher in your school and the way you handle this situation.

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